What You Learn Living in the South

So, I got this email the other day as a forward. “Things learned living in the South.” Some I have heard of before, some I have not. My comments are listed in italics! It was at least good for a laugh!

THINGS LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH…

• A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. (Yes, but I have not really run into this as a repeated problem).
• There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. (Yes, expect a blog entry on this in the future).
• There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before. (Yes)
• If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha. (Yes)
• Onced and Twiced are words. (Eh. I have not noticed this)
• It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! (Yes, see my previous entry here).
•  Jawl-P? Means Did y’all go to the bathroom? (Never heard of it)
• People actually grow, eat, and like okra. (Yes, yes, and yes. I will hopefully blog about this next fall, in honor of the local okra strut fest).
• Fixinto is one word. It means I’m fixing to do that. (Yes, see previous entry here)
• There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper. (Eh, people do use lunch, but dinner is common to. I foresee a blog on this topic. I think supper is more prevalent)
• Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. (House wine of the South to be specific. A topic for another day!)
• Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. (Yes)
• The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning, ‘Did you eat?’ (Never heard of this.)
• You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see. (Pretty much)
• You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em. (I think this is a very regional concept in certain sections of the South. They don’t use it a ton where I am, but they do in the next state over).
• Ya’ll is singular; All ya’ll is plural. (Yes)
• You measure distance in minutes. (Yes)
• You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. (Yes)
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. (Yes, and I will be writing about it in the future. Personally I am a fan of the Okra Strut and the AppleFest, not so much of the Chitlins festival).
• You know what a DAWG is. (Unfortunately.)
• You carry jumper cables in your car – for your OWN car. (Hum)
• You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup. (These are all in my pantry, but I do use a lot more)
• The local papers cover national and international news on half a page, but require 6 pages for football, and motor sports, and gossip. (Pretty much, another topic for another day)
• You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. (I don’t, but I know many who do)
• You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm. (It is a given)
• You know what a hissy fit is. (Yes, but I don’t think it is confined to the South)
• Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin’ or off to Wally World (A favorite, no. Pretty much hate it.  But I do call it Wally World)
•  You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good beef stew or chili weather. (SO TRUE)
• Fried catfish is the other white meat. (Eh. I have not noticed this)

Thanks to my Grandma Pat for sending this along, I got a good laugh out of it! If you live down here have you heard of any of these? What is accurate to you?