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Wednesday Wedding Tips: RSVP!

January 4, 2012

A wedding tip for the guest…. A tip I know better than to not follow, but here I am being an awful person and doing it. Folks, if you are invited to a wedding, please RSVP by the requested date.

Really, for the number of weddings I have been in and the number of stressed brides I have helped calm,  I can’t believe I have done this myself, but I am late in sending in an RSVP for a wedding. It was requested on January 1st, I should have mailed it before Christmas, but here it is January 4th and I haven’t sent it yet. I am actually declining the invite because I can’t travel that weekend, but I am sending a gift. I hate to miss the wedding of two of my former staff members (I think I am up to like 10 couples now or something off staffs from my previous job, sheesh) but the drive is just not going to happen, I am sending a gift though.

So even though I am violation of my own rule, here is why you should do this by the requested date:

  • First off, it is just plain bad manners not to do so.
  • Most couples have an RSVP date so they can place their final order for catering… food to be ordered and chairs to be placed. For every person that attends the wedding, someone if footing the bill for that guest to attend. So they want those numbers to be accurate.
  • Seating. Many couples have assigned seating at wedding receptions. This is for a number of reasons, but if they do assigned seating, they need to know who is attending so they can make those assignments. And trust me, if they have people attending the wedding that don’t particularly care for one another, they want to know that, so they can do the seating so that those groups are on opposite sides of the room. Please see the mention I made a few weeks back about many people making the wedding about them, instead of the couple. This is a prime example! There have plenty of times where I have chatted seating charts (ie: best possible scenarios to avoid drama) until late in the evening with brides.
  • The RSVP also contributes to the final count of programs that need to be made or favors produced.
  • They did print and mail those lovely invites and little response cards for a reason, not to just waste money.
  • You do not want to be the one the bride, groom, wedding party member is calling to see why you didn’t RSVP and if you are coming or not. Those people are busy enough already and don’t have time to track down whether these five people who haven’t sent in the RSVP are coming or not!

So, please, take the time to do the polite thing and send in the RSVP. I am filling mine out and sending it in tomorrow, which will also be followed with an email apologizing for the delay and missing the day! Even for all my wedding attendance, I can still make mistakes!

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