Wednesday Wedding Tips: The Anniversary

I found myself in an unusual predicament a few weeks ago… I didn’t know the proper answer to an etiquette question. ME, the girl who had Emily Post forced into her brain on repeat beginning at age four, didn’t have a proper answer. It was a definitely a moment that left me pondering. So, being the good little on again/ off again grad student that I am (I am wavering in my doctoral thoughts, but that is another topic) I did a little research.

To back up, this all started earlier in the month with a conversation with the Bestie. She asked me if I had remembered to call TT and her husband to wish them a happy wedding anniversary. I responded in the negative, why would I wish someone a happy anniversary unless it was MY anniversary with someone? This of course caused me concern, did I forget a lesson from all of my etiquette training? Had I inadvertently been rude to good friends whose wedding I was a part of?! I should be clear, I talked to TT about it before hand… inquiring if knew what she would be getting him or what their plans were. I followed up after the fact to see how it had gone, but I never wished them happy anniversary. In fact, I intentionally didn’t wish them one because I thought it would be weird… I mean, it is not my anniversary.

So, I went in search of an answer. I checked Emily Post online and looked into old Emily Post books I have. I looked in all my wedding planning books, I looked in anything I had that would mention etiquette including some old business communication books from undergrad. I even called my Mother, who I never like to ask for advice, and she had the same answer all the other resources had… NOTHING. I could find no mention anywhere of what a friend should do in regard to an anniversary. I found ideas for anniversary celebrations, traditional and modern gifts for the couple to give one another and so on. So, I am assuming since I couldn’t find ANY mention of it, that I didn’t miss something in my etiquette lessons. Also, I just find it a little odd to wish other people a happy anniversary (unless it is big and they are having a party for it, like 20 years or something)! So my tip for the day… don’t stress too much about wedding anniversaries, unless it is yours!